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With only one week left before election day and John McCain far behind in the polls, what is a desperate Republican to do? Republicans have attacked Obama about his name, they have tried to link him to terrorism, to Muslims, to Liberals, even to Dick Chaney--anyone and everyone that a true Americuhn would hate. None of it has been working. In fact, distressed that their party isn't going far enough to discredit Obama, some rogue patriots have apparently decided to take matters into their own hands.
We've all heard of "Joe the Plumber", or Sam Wurzelbacher as he is known in reality. This is the guy who is "getting ready to buy a business that makes $250,000-$280,000" and is worried that the extra $900 he would have to pay under the Obama Tax Plan would criple his ability to create new jobs. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that the 2-man plumbing company "Joe" works for would have to be really successful to rake in $125k per plumber (especially when no employees actually have a plumbing license). As it turns out, he was wanting to buy the company for $250-280k--the business actually makes much less. In fact, Obama's Tax Plan would actually lower his taxes (maybe then he could afford to pay them, since he hasn't been doing that currently). Well, as Sarah Palin would say, "Say it ain't so Joe! Dog-gone-it, you Betcha!" I guess the Republicans will have to find someone else to be the quarter-million-dollar-earning "Average Joe". No worries. Republicans have been stepping up to the plate to discredit Obama in spite of the imaginary plumber's failure. Just the other day, Ashley Todd sacrificed her own face to prove to the world how bad Obama supporters (particularly the black ones) really are. She almost managed to enlighten the rest of the world on how awful 6' 4" black McCain haters could be, except for one slight flaw. See if you can figure it out. Take a piece of paper, write a "B" on it. Now, go to the nearest mirror and hold up the piece of paper so the ink faces the mirror. What do you see? A backwards "B"? Apparently young Ashley had never seen an ambulance with "AMBULANCE" written in reverse on the front of it because she carved a "B" into her face...backwards. |
| D'oh! Imagine the embarrassment! She even filed a police report and everything, and all for naught. Oh well. Who's Next? When all else fails, it's time to resort to some good ol' fashion white supremacy! Nothing like killing and decapitating innocent people for no other reason than the color of their skin to prove you are 100% Americuhn! Hmm... cutting off people's heads...sounds familiar (Oh-mah-gaw, nawt Braitnay!?). Obama is not even the President yet, and already people are trying to assassinate him? Wow. The closest G.W. Bush ever came to dying was by choking on a pretzel... Seriously, you have to respect Obama for his ability to actually put country first--in spite of people who are actively trying to kill him he is out there trying to change the status quo. Would any of you reading this do the same? |
