I'm sure everyone who has a TV has seen those stupid High Fructose Corn Syrup commercials that have been trying to brainwash people into believing HFCS is a great "natural" product. Corn Refiners Association marketers are full of shit--HFCS is NOT a natural product. But if the highly processed nature of this product doesn't bother you, that's probably because you don't know what actually happens during the refining process (a.k.a. mercurification).

In case you haven't heard the dozens of reports about it, a 6-yr old tried to drive himself to school and wrecked. This is an interesting story, and luckily nobody was hurt. But, it just seems to me that this story is getting hype for absolutely the wrong reasons.

Ahh… the great Americuhn utility company. I’m sure everyone has at one time or another had to deal with the ridiculous customer (lack of) service from their local utility company. I have had several rather negative experiences myself, but never anything quite this bad. It all started when I arrived at my apartment at 5:30 PM to find a note tacked to my door.

It was a sad day for Americuhns everywhere when they found out that the U.S. is no longer the number one emitter of greenhouse gasses. Yes, China has finally matched (and by some accounts surpassed) the U.S. in the pollution race.

I, as well as many Americans, released a very hefty sigh of relief the night of November 4 as we learned that Mrs. Sarah Palin of Alaska would no longer be threatening to enter the white house as VP; at least not in the next four years...

If you listened to John McCain during the third presidential debate you may be scared that the "fabric of democracy" is being undermined by fraudulent voter registration.

 What's funny is that although the Democratic campaign is not affiliated with ACORN (the group accused of turning in invalid registration forms), the Republicans continue to employ operatives facing fraud accusations including one who faces criminal perjury charges.

Of course there is no real danger in fraudulent voter registration (Republican or Democrat). Unless the imaginary people who are registered actually show up at the polls to vote, nothing about the election or the democratic process is compromised. This is yet another desperate attempt from an unpopular Republican party to stay in power by scaring ignorant people into trading in their civil liberties for a false sense of security and patriotism.

Any good Americuhn knows who our enemy is and how to deal with them. In fact, all we have to do is use this simple formula to determine who our enemies are. Al Qaeda = Terrorists ; Al Qaeda = Muslim ; therefore Muslims = Terrorists. John McCain shows his profound understanding of this formula (and foreign policy in general) in his, what some would call, “blunder” with Jordan reporters.

With only one week left before election day and John McCain far behind in the polls, what is a desperate Republican to do?

Republicans have attacked Obama about his name, they have tried to link him to terrorism, to Muslims, to Liberals, even to Dick Chaney--anyone and everyone that a true Americuhn would hate. None of it has been working. In fact, distressed that their party isn't going far enough to discredit Obama, some rogue patriots have apparently decided to take matters into their own hands.